By Bryan Marmion, Athletic Director & Head Football Coach

As the school year comes to a close I remember a time when schools did the same – closed for the summer. One could drive by the campus for weeks on end without seeing a car in the parking lot, save a nervous teen learning to drive and a more nervous dad riding shotgun. No more. Now, the busyness of sport practices, dance rehearsals and music lessons pay no heed to the calendar. Instead of winding down for the summer, many schools become a hub of summer camp activity.

Neighborhood kids playing in the yard have been replaced by sport camps, strength and conditioning programs and summer athletic leagues. Athletics are hardly alone in occupying summer days. Drama camps, art classes, dance recitals and music lessons also provide numerous opportunities to stay busy until classes resume. All which begs the question…When does too much of a good thing become a bad thing?

As the athletic director at San Antonio Christian I often visit with parents, especially those of elementary-aged children, trying to find this balance. A mother commented the other day that her kids’ summer activities have taken the vacation out of her vacation. A father questioned if playing a sport at the select level year-round was really necessary for his nine-year-old. I’ve had parents of children as young as first and second grade ask me about training programs so their child will get an athletic scholarship.

The variety of activities available to our children are a great way for them to form friendships, explore the world God made for them, and grow spiritually, intellectually and physically. Certainly excellence in any skill requires a significant time commitment. So when do additional opportunities become counterproductive? How young is too young? When should a child start to “zero in” on one activity? Unfortunately there is no one answer as every child and situation is different.

Here are some questions to ask yourself that may help find balance for your children:

Are the time and practice demands of the activity age-appropriate for your child?

High school expectations are for teenagers, not second graders. Placing demands in excess of a child’s attention span or skill level will not make them a child prodigy. It can actually be counter productive leading to the child loosing interest in the activity. Some children are gifted beyond their age and are capable of taking on more than their peers. This being said, see the next question.

Are you O.K. with your child being average?

Lebron James and Yo-Yo Ma are who they are first and foremost because of exceptional God-given ability. Very few will ever be like them regardless of the time spent in practice, private lessons etc. That’s one reason why we have words like “average” and “exceptional” in the English language. Rose-colored glasses aside, God has given your child strengths and weaknesses. Activities like sports and the arts give children a chance to learn how uniquely God has made them. This is a great teachable moment. Children need to see you celebrate their effort, not their achievement. They also need to see you value them participate in an activity purely for the enjoyment of it without regard to the “next step”.

Are the demands of the activity meeting the desired commitment level of your child?

By the middle of the season is your child consistently balking at practicing or wanting more?

Are they talking about not participating next year, or wanting to advance to the next level?

Are they practicing the activity on their own at home?

What is your motivation for their participation?

If the goal is a future college scholarship, you are probably going to be disappointed. According to the National Collegiate Athletic Association (NCAA) only two percent of high school athletes will receive any form of athletic scholarship. However, if the goal is to use athletics to help teach teamwork, perseverance, the value of hard work, improve self-esteem and the like, 100% of athletes can be successful.

Do you need a 27 hour day?

Do you spend as much time planning your week as you do living it?

Do you have to choose between activities because they are overlapping?

Are church activities being pushed out?

Are you eating dinner more in the car than in your house?

Does homework start at bedtime?

...warning! And finally…the chainsaw syndrome. A chainsaw is a great tool if you use it properly. However, if you loose your focus you will cut off your foot.

In the same way, these activities are great tools to help parents grow godly character in their children. When our focus moves from character to talent, problems will follow. God gives us talent, but we develop character. Character, in turn, plays a significant role in maximizing the talent God gives us.